mogamboguru.com / By The Mogambo Guru / February 8, 2013
am seriously considering changing careers.
I have, to my dismay, discovered that being a paranoid, angry, cynical, Austrian School economist and all-around lunatic raving gold-bug whack-o slacker, who is absolutely sure that We’re Freaking Doomed (WFD), is an occupation that does not have that certain glorious glamour and commanding cache to elicit the fawning adoration of hot chicks (“Take me, Hot Mogambo Poet (HMP)! Bend me over something and let ‘er rip!”) that would certainly brighten up my admittedly bleak days expecting, as you learned earlier in this paragraph, doom.
So I am thinking of becoming a famous and influential poet. To establish my impressive credentials, here, for your pleasure, is my first poem:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Gold and silver are such screaming bargains because the evil, foul Federal Reserve is creating So Freaking Much (SFM) currency and credit in some nightmarish flood of insane monetary inflation that if you aren’t buying them,
Then something is very, very wrong with you.
Well, I am sure that you, like poetry lovers everywhere, instantly recognize this as the absolutely best poem ever written in English, as it is the only poem that tells you how to get stinking rich by doing nothing except, as the poem makes abundantly clear, buying gold and silver to capitalize on the suicidal idiocy of the Federal Reserve creating so much currency and credit to fund the insane deficit-spending of the corrupt Congress that must, by mathematical necessity, bankrupt the whole country and cause ruinous inflation in prices, which is more precisely defined by us professional economists as The Big Crapola (TBC).
Other poems are but clever and/or melodious trifles, toying with your emotions.